Friday, August 7, 2009

Rage against the People

Alright, to start off.

I was reading some random pop star magazine in a nail salon recently when I came across some article about Shia Lebouf and Megan Fox and how they have awesome chemistry on and off the set. It then proceeded to quote a source close to Megan about how "She isn't into good looks and models but funny and smart. Okay..pause. Did anyone else catch that off-hand insult to Shia right there? As if now everyone else is supposed to be like "wow...Megan Fox is amazing...not only is she extremely good looking...but she goes out with ugly guys too..." Another thing. Is hollywood so close-minded that just because you don't look like Brad Pitt and have a jaw line that could cut through metal, you're automatically not good looking? I happen to think Shia Lebouf is an amazing actor AND good looking.

The other day I was working for a little extra cash and handing out flyers. I'm very bright and sunny and it happens to be that I'm great at it. (No bragging intended) So anyways, this hispanic woman comes by and I start my whole pitch, cracking jokes and nodding enthusiastically at all the right parts. About half way through it all I suddenly realize I'm putting on an hispanic accent. So here I am, talking to this woman, and I'm thinking in my head "why the heck do I sound like Carlos Mencia?" The other girl I'm working with hears what I'm doing and immediatly starts laughing, all the while there's this poor woman listening to everything I'm saying and not realizing that im not hispanic. Poor woman. I realized that I tend to put on accents of the people I'm around. These black woman came by and I was all like "mmhmm girl yah! You know it!'

Yesterday I was driving with my brother and something he said rang very true. Black people and Hispanics have completely taken over. The white man is the lesser race. I blame fear. People are so afraid of making racial slurs and getting shot for it that half of their story is themselves bumbling over their own words. I will never forget when I was in High School and walking past a bunch of girls telling a story. These were the exact words out of her mouth. "So then I saw this big black girl-oh sorry Ellie" Um...WTF?! When I tell a story and say "yah so there was this white guy-" Do I proceed to turn to the entire room and ask for forgiveness? Nope.

Calling someone "black" these days has turned into a racial slur. In fact...its been a racial slur for a while now. In "Baby Got Back" by Sir-mix-a-lot these two white girls call the girl in the beginning "just so..BLACK" Um...hello? When the heck did black become synonymous with the "N" word. Its like the whole cursing thing and frickin. Now the acceptable thing to do is call them "African American" even though most of them have never even SEEN Africa. If thats acceptable then why arent the white people called "English Americans"? After all, isnt that where they're originally from? You are White. You are Black. Well actually technically we're brown and peach but for some reason that never quite caught on.

People are very selfish. I was driving with my friends and saw a house that the lamp post alone could have covered a years worth of college for me. (Bad Grammar) Can I get in on some of that? Why do people assume that because they have money, they have to buy expensive things? Why get this shirt for $30 when I can get it for $300 right? I'm sure a lot of us think this way. You see people wearing $435 dresses and the first thought that enters my head is "I'm pretty sure I saw that at Target..." For some reason, if a celebrity or a socialite were to dress "cheap" and not wear clothes worth more than all my possesions put together, they would be looked down upon. I wonder why that is? Its like...society demands them to meet a certain standard. All I gotta say is...if you're feeling charitable I'm looking for a nice lamp post.

This has been another Imputant Rage.

LE7 Out.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My Imputant Rage

Okay Im here. And im going to start with a bang...


- Okay you know what makes me mad? Celebrities and their needs to keep up with fans. Yah its nice, but not really necessary. Do you see Plumbers calling up and twittering to keep their customers updated? Nope. Didnt think so. They just smile and do their job. So why don't celebrities do that? Smile and do their job! And why aren't there child labor laws against children working in hollywood? The hours must be nuts! If it's up to the parents, then how come 10 year olds aren't working in clothing stores or places like that! Hollywood is so messed up! Their just people, people! Quit worshiping them!

- Youtube. I actually love Youtube and am a big fan but I wonder how people get famous on there. Do they have to advertise? Or does word of mouth just do the job. These days, Youtube has given us hope that any joe shmoe can become famous. Well isnt ANY celebrity just a famous joe shmoe..? So basically youtube is just a glorified marketing agent. Minus the hundreds in costs. Do these people have lives though? I mean like...before they became huge youtube stars. WHAT THE HECK DID MICHEAL BUCKLEY DO BEFORE YOUTUBE? I cant wait for some random homeless guy to become famous making videos out of his little cardboard box. He'll be all like "yah i COULD have bought myself some warm clothes but instead I bought myself this kick-ass camera..." and he'll become famous! and go on oprah. I seriously had to just look up how to spell Oprah...that IS how you spell it right?

- Twitter. God should bring a hell of a virus and wipe out twitter. Its like...someone was using facebook and was like "Hey! These statuses are cool! But they keep getting cut off when I have them sent to my phone...*ding* IDEA! lets create a site where its JUST facebook statuses and they have to fit on my phone!" pow. A star is born. I gotta cash in on this stupid "communication" fad. I think im going to create a site where people can only use ONE word to describe whats going on right now. And they can only post every 43 minutes. I smell a great idea!!!

- Family Guy. 'nuff said. Its funny, ill admit. But its so stupid! It cashes in on America's growing stupidity.

- Reality TV Shows. Alright people, let the arguments begin. Is reality tv REALLY "reality?". i dont know myself but its getting worse. Theres a REASON american has one of the biggest divorce rates. Its because people are going on REALITY TV and finding husbands! Single cruises are bad enough but come on people! Reality TV?! And they're ALWAYS gorgeous. They have some hot girl or hot guy sitting there looking for mr/ms. Right. How is it possible that such good looking people have a problem finding true love? Not possible. Lets have some seriously defected people seeking seriously defective people. If your'e that good looking and your still not with someone, then Reality TV aint gonna help ya. Sorry.

- Replacement Curse Words Suddenly Being A Problem. Since when do kids get in trouble for saying "heck" "frickin" "crud" "shiz" etc...Its like we go ahead and are like "FINE! we wont curse!" but people get so used to hearing these words that they begin to associate them with the REAl curse words. and suddenly those words are bad too! At this rate, we wont be able to speak for fear of screwing ourselves over and saying "bad words"

Im listening to Harry Potter on audiobook and wow...Harry has been through a craplot. Poor Harry...oh yah that reminds me.

- Harry Potter. Why the hell doesnt Harry have psychological problems? There is NO way that anyone could grow up in a broom covered, be malnourished, verbally abused and then go through 7 years of hell and be NORMAL. Who the hell cares if he has great friends. Try telling that to the next kid who tries to off himself. " had great friends!" Not quite a clincher for many. I wanna see Harry check himself into Rehab for drug abuse.

- M.I.A Paper Planes. The fact that a song like that could become famous is just a sign of how low we have sunk.

- The First Black President. HES HALF BLACK! HALF WHITE. He is the first Bi-Racial President. I guess that's too long to put on the posters...but still. I'm tired of black people running around being like "wooh! first black president!" NO. Bi-racial people (such as myself) should be running around saying "wooh! first bi-racial president! Hellz yah!" Someone recently replied to a youtube comment I made by writing "My brother is half black and calls himself just black" Are you serious? They're forcing him to choose sides now? What the hell?! No. NO NO NO. You are BOTH. Sorry Baracky....time to face the music.

Wooh. Okay. Done. Thanks for listening to my Imputant Rage...See ya!